So they’re saying that DiCaprio may finally get his Oscar for his brutal performance in his latest movie, The Revenant.
Why has he missed out so many times, despite having stacked up such a staggering range of class A performances, such brilliant blood- and sweat-soaked scenes?
Could you get more Oscar-tastic than a bio of a billionaire driven insane and cowering in a room with a collection of his own urine, as he did in The Aviator? I know, we’ve all done that at some time in our lives, especially if you went to Otago Uni, but few of us are stinking rich, playboy-inventor-dare-devils are we? That film had Oscar written all over it – he went mental, for God’s sake, and the Academy loves mental cases, but still, no luck there.
Yes there were plenty of others too, like Shutter Island, another lunatic performance made the Academy groan and shrug their shoulders.
Likewise there was Blood Diamond. Surely that had the Oscar boxes ticked, they love causes, and Africa, but perhaps it was his brutal assault on the Rhodesian accent that put the kibosh on that. Also, let’s not forget how great Forest Whitaker was as Idi Amin, in The Last King of Scotland, and count ourselves lucky that Will Smith (The Pursuit of Happyness) went home broken-hearted that night as well.
I reckon Leo must have been surprised when Revolutionary Road failed to bring home the gold. His master class in incandescent rage was as captivating as anything he’s done, yet still, somehow, no statue for poor old Leo. Honestly, by this stage I was staring to suspect some Indian T20 style match fixing was going on – maybe he threw the Oscar, a little underacting here, a lot of overacting there?
He smashed his way through Tarantino’s Django Unchained as the unyielding rage-aholic with such vigor that it suggested that he was way too comfortable as the racist southern monster. An Oscar for such a beast would be unlikely, even before political correctness went mad, or even got slightly angry. So, no surprises there.
You might think that was the same reason he failed to take home the prize after his stunner of a performance as The Wolf of Wall Street. Or that like me, you think his drug-addled drive home from the country club deserved its own statue, but there was something else in the way of Leo winning this time. It was something called Matthew McConaughey, a beast who chewed up all the scenery and went back for seconds. He did it to such an extent that after this encounter in the company cafeteria Leo was doomed again.
They’re saying that The Revenant will be different for Leo. They say he’ll bring home the Oscar. The fools, surely they know he’s cursed. Also, once you’ve been cast in multiple Scorseses who really gives a shit about an Academy that gave Tom Hanks the nod for Forrest Gump the same year that Travolta starred in Pulp Fiction?
