Broccoli. A lot of people say they like it but I’ve never see anyone eating it, at restaurants I’ve never see it on a menu and on all those damned awful, painfully boring cooking shows that my girlfriend watches on television I never see anyone cooking with it.
But despite all that, people say it’s good for you, they say that they like it, they say that they want more of it and that also say that they enjoy it. So in that regard, broccoli is a lot like completely original movies. Everyone extolls the virtues of them while settling in to watch the latest blockbuster sequel, prequel, reboot or whatever. So where’s this outrageous claim coming from? Well, this week two deciding factors occurred on the same day. Firstly the results for one of our 3Pm Dispatch movie poll’s came in, followed closely by an email alert from the Film and Video Labelling Body.
The poll, which you can see here, asked ‘what do you prefer to watch?’ and then gave the options a) A Totally Original Film b) An Adaptation Of A Book, A TV Show Etc.. c) A Remake/Reboot d) A Prequel or e) A Sequel.
The results – which came in that order – were interesting for a number of reasons. I find it slightly odd that people would rather see a movie that shows the events that shaped the story for a film they enjoyed rather than seeing a film that continues the story of a film they enjoyed. Don’t you think that’s odd? I certainly do.
But obviously the respondents mostly said they most wanted to watch a totally original film. In fact 67.86% said that, which is a huge number. But not surprising. We all bemoan the lack of originality in Hollywood, especially with the near daily news of another remake or reboot being green lit.
But what was fascinating was the email that came in near immediately after the results. This declared that Transformers 3 had rocketed into the New Zealand Box Office record books by having the eighth best opening weekend in New Zealand cinema history.
There is plainly a disconnect between what people are saying they want and what people actually want.
Having outlined my position on Transformers previously, I’m not going to see it. I’ll be damned if I’m going to be subjected to boring Shia LaBeouf job-hunting nonsense for two hours before I get to see a Transformer actually do something.
So clearly I am not part of the problem here. All you people are.
Only that’s not quite true. The last film I saw at the movies was X-Men: First Class, which, keeping with the food metaphor, we can only describe as a deep-fried Mars bar (being, as it is, a reboot prequel to a trilogy). From a Hollywood perspective, can you get anymore cynical than that combination?
No, probably not. But just like a deep fried Mars bar I ate that shiz up. I liked just about everything about X-Men: First Class and I will go see the inevitable sequel. Which, if you’re keeping score, will be a sequel to the prequel reboot of a trilogy.
So, with that full disclosure out of the way can you guess which box I ticked in the poll?
Yep, you guessed it, option A, “A Totally Original Film” despite picking a prequel reboot over all the totally original films that were also playing that week.
Maybe it was just freakish timing that that day’s poll results coincided with completely contradictory news, but then again, maybe not…
I don’t have the answers. All I know is that I like broccoli but I never eat it and that they better not screw up that Total Recall remake that I am totally against on principle but will definitely be going to the cinema to see.