MINUS FIVE GOLD STARS - this is unintentional comedy genius from the mind of writer, producer, director, star Tommy Wiseau - a man who makes Narcissus look modest. Honestly? The most fun at the cinema since FrankNFurter and co. enticed audiences to do The Time Warp. Try this for size:
Lisa: I've lost him but I still have you, right? Right?
Mark: You don't have me. You'll never have me. You killed him.
Lisa: Mark, we're free to be together. I love you. I love you!
Mark: Tramp! You killed him. You're the cause of all of this. I don't love you. Get out of my life, you b*tch!
And that's the GOOD dialogue!
And then there's:
Claudette: "I got the results of the test back - I definitely have breast cancer."
If you thought John Travolta's BATTLEFIELD EARTH was funny - you ain't seen nothin' yet!
This really is so bad it's brilliant... Everything about it is just so incredibly, unintentionally, side-splittingly hilariously BAD!
Did I mention how ass-clenchingly BAD it is?