The Kids in the Hall: Season 3

Skits: - Police Department 1 (BMS)(3): p.m. Stanfield Park... More - police find a dead body (Police Department) - Accent Teacher (KM)(3): teacher teaches accents - Making Potato Salad (B)(3): red beehive lady makes potato salad (Myra) - Don't Blame the Clown (SD)(3): clown causes trouble in business meeting (Danny Husk, A.T. & Love Boss, Bingo the Clown) - Drag Revolution (S)(3): drag queens take over - Police Department 2 (BMSD)(3): 10:03 p.m. Stanfield Park - dead body continued (Police Department) - The Phantom of the Warehouse (all)(3): bad boss becomes the legend - Police Department 3 (BM)(3): 10:36 p.m. Stanfield Park - dead body continued (Police Department)

Skits: - But First... (DMKB)(3): Businessmen -- "I'd like... More to begin the presentation, but first..." - Tanya the Temp Leaves (all)(3): Tanya the temp leaves the office (Cathy, Kathie, Tanya, Ms. Ferguson) - Open Letter to Wheel Stealer (B)(3): Bruce's open letter to the guy that stole his bike wheel - The Mouse (M)(3): story of a guy's conflict with a mouse (Tucker) - Open Letter to Wheel Stealer Watchers (B)(3): Bruce's open letter to the people who watched the guy steal his bike wheel - The Murder Trial (all)(3): guy lies on the stand to get away with murder - Scott Buying Beer (SB)(3): Scott wonders whether he should buy beer for some underage youth

Skits: - Obnoxious Golf Guy (KD)(3): the obnoxious golf... More guy tries to make small talk - Those Earrings Are Mine (all)(2): guy tries to explain away his affair (Robert) - Flying Pig 1 (BDKM)(3): the flying pig at the bank line (Flying Pig, Darryl, Guy in Line) - Canada Abandons Monarchy (SM)(2): Queen tries to win back Canada (The Queen, Prince Edward) - Flying Pig 2 (BKS)(3): the flying pig continued (Flying Pig, Guy in Line) - Awards Show (all)(3): the movie awards show - Flying Pig 3/Police Department (BM)(3): (Flying Pig, Police Department) - Substitute Axe (DK)(3): ax murderer tries to borrow an ax (Ax Murderer) - Flying Pig 4 (BMK)(3): the flying pig continued (Flying Pig, Guy in Line)

Skits: - Asleep on the Job (DS)(2): street worker... More asleep on the job - Bruce the Small Guy (BD)(3): Bruce wonders how tall he is - Stunned Father (K)(3): father stunned because wife left him -- "a whole lotta milk-a". - The "I Want a Raise" Guy 1 (KD)(3): comedy writer wants a raise - Gimmel-100 Salesmen (BMS)(3): money momentum guys sell Gimmel-100 organs (Money Momentum Guys) - The "I Want a Raise" Guy 2 (KD)(3): comedy writer wants a raise continued - Buddy's Bar -- Tammy the Pop Star (all)(3): Buddy discovers Tammy (Buddy, Tammy)

Skits: Withstanding Blatant Abuse - Stars- Bruce,... More Mark - Recurring Characters- Cops - In short- He didn't interfere because he though they knew each other. Strip Club - Stars- Dave, Bruce, Kevin, Mark, Scott - Recurring Characters- Chicken Lady, Bearded Lady, Emcee - In Short- The freaks attend a strip show with Rooster Boy. Old Lady Falls Down - Stars- Bruce, Kevin, Mark, Scott - Recurring Characters- Cops - In short- The cops don't get involved when a man helps an old lady up. Videos - Stars- Dave, Kevin, Mark - Recurring Characters- Lex, Dean - In Short- Dean borrows a video from Lex and fails to return it. Canada Abandons Monarchy - Stars- Mark, Scott - Recurring Characters- The Queen, Prince Edward - In Short- The Queen interrupts a broadcast of raging rivers. Sleeping on the Squad Car - Stars- Bruce, Mark - Recurring Characters- Cops - In short- He fell asleep on the hood of the car. Stay Down! - Stars- Bruce, Kevin, Mark, Scott - R

Skits: Girls! Girls! Girls! - Stars- Kevin, Mark ... More - Recurring Characters- Mr. Tiscic aka Mr. Tyzik aka the Headcrusher - In short- Man finds the Headcrusher after following a sign for girls. Marriages - Stars- Dave, Bruce, Kevin, Mark, Scott - Recurring Characters- n/a - In short- A woman repeatedly remarries after repeated marrying the wrong guy. Blame for Blue Jays Loss - Stars- Kevin, Mark - Recurring Characters- Bigot Cabbie - In short- Cabbie blames "certain people." Man Boobs - Stars- Dave, Scott - Recurring Characters- Danny Husk - In short- Man asks if he's always had breasts, or are they new. Blood From a Stone - Stars- n/a - Recurring Characters- It's a Fact Girl - In short- You can get blood from a stone. Road Rage - Stars- Kevin, Mark, Scott - Recurring Characters- Bigot Cabbie, Psycho Cabbie - In Short- Cabbie shoots other cars, delivers a package, and picks up other fares. The Thrift Shop - Stars- Kevin, Mark, Scott - Recurr

Skits: - On the Subject of Me* (D)(3): on... More the subject of Dave - Bearded Lady Marries (DKM)(3): the bearded lady prepares to get married (Chicken Lady, Bearded Lady) - Arrogant Executive (DK)(3): the arrogant executive listens to an ad pitch - Kids in the Hall Kids/Bruce's Regrets (BM)(3): Bruce's regrets at the end of the KITH season (Satan, Mr. Tyzik, Cabbage Head) - Horny Patient (SK)(3): horny man gets examined by a nurse (Nurse Unloop) - On the Subject of Me* (D)(3): on the subject of Dave - Spy Models* (SDMK)(3): a film with Francesca & Bruno (Francesca Fiore, Bruno Puntz Jones)

Skits: - Stewardesses in Diner (SKBD)(3): they burst in... More asking if anyone can fly a plane - New Development in the Sauna (DS)(3): steam room talk (Danny Husk) - Bigot Cabbie -- Blue Jays (KM)(3): the Bigot cabbie blames "certain people" when the Blue Jays lose (Bigot Cabbie) - Chicken Lady at Strip Show (all)(3): the freaks attends a strip show and see Rooster Boy (Chicken Lady, Bearded Lady, Slimy MC) - Psycho Cabbie (KSM)(3): same customer, but this cabbie shoots other cars and takes unwanted short cuts (Bigot Cabbie, Psycho Cabbie) - Police Department (SMB)(3): 7:36 p.m. West End Mall - they withstand some blatant abuse (Police Department) - Farmers in a Diner (DK)(3): two farmers discuss celebrities - My Pen! (all+J)(3): office worker has his pen taken (Psycho Cabbie) - Police Department (SM)(3): 9:52 p.m. Fellow Lane - they discuss a movie over a dead body (Police Department)

Skits: - What?!?!? (SB)(3): man wonders about the look... More his wife gives him - Pit of Ultimate Darkness -- Hecubus Fired 1 (KDSB)(3): Hecubus is fired for drinking too much (Pit of Ultimate Darkness) - Father & Son Thieves (BS)(3): father and son rob a man's house - Darryl on a Date -- Darryl's Momma (MDS)(3): Darryl has a date over and tells his date about his mother (Darryl) - Pit of Ultimate Darkness -- Hecubus Fired 2 (DK)(3): Hecubus fired continued (Pit of Ultimate Darkness) - Absent-Minded Customer/Scott Thompson's 100th Waiter Sketch (all)(3): an absent minded guy doesn't understand the story/celebration for Scott's 100th Waiter

Skits: - Old Yeller 1 (all)(3): KITH presents the... More dramatic conclusion of "Old Yeller" - A.T. & Love's Danny Husk -- Porn Star (SD)(3): Danny Husk's Boss confronts Danny about being a porn star (Danny Husk, A.T. & Love Boss) - "What If" Guy (BM)(3): man confronts noisy people in restaurant, but runs through alternate versions of reality in his mind - Buddy's Bar -- Drugs (S)(3): Buddy talks about drugs (Buddy) - Old Yeller 2 (all)(3): another dramatic conclusion of "Old Yeller" - Rod Torfulson's Armada (MBSK)(3): Rod tries to convince the band to change its name (Armada) - Horsey/Old Yeller 3 (DSMK)(3): mother reveals the truth to her daughter about her horsey/dramatic conclusion of "Old Yeller"

Skits: - Flying Pig Remeniscing (all)(3): man remenisces about... More the Flying Pig (Flying Pig, Guy in Line, Danny Husk) - Her "God" Spot (DKM)(3): dog show organizer wonder about a misprint - The Darcy Pennell Show* with Francesca Fiore (DKS)(3): Francesca Fiore goes on Darcy's show and brings a clip of her next movie (Darcy Pennell, Francesca Fiore, Bruno Puntz Jones) - Son of Flying Pig 1 (MSKB)(3): the son of the Flying Pig shows up (Flying Pig, Guy in Line) - Thank-you letters of Tyrone Bibbens Esquire (SK)(3): Tyrone Bibbens writes thank you letters, because he'll be dead soon - Tanya at a Party 1 (all)(3): Tanya annoys people at a party (Tanya) - Son of Flying Pig 2 (KBD)(3): son of the Flying Pig continued (Flying Pig, Guy in Line) - Tanya at a Party 2 (MD)(3): Tanya the day after the party (Tanya) (over credits)

Skits: - Celebrities Scott Thompson Looks Like (S)(3): the... More celebrities Scott Thompson looks like - One Clearly Insane Person (DK)(3): Jerry Sizzler visits his now-cured sister (Jerry & Jerry Sizzler) - It's a Fact (M)(3): Importance of Cleaning Ears - After-Death Experience (M)(3): Mississippi Gary's song about his after-death experience (Mississippi Gary) - Garbage Man Fan (BKM)(3): man who applauds garbage men - It's a Fact - Looking for Pot (all+PJ)(3): Bower goes searching for pot (Bower, Jocelyn, Satan, Bobby)

Skits: - Police Department (BM)(3): 9:34 p.m. Welland Park... More - abandoned potato (Police Department) - Captain Wonderful (DKS)(3): Captain Wonderful, Arms Longfellow, and the Winged Avenger at their hideout - Don't Call Her 1 (BS)(3): man debates whether to call a potential girlfriend (Brad) - Police Department - Gay Home Alone Outfit (S)(3): Scott explains what gay boys wear when home alone - Businessman that Just Stares (MKD)(3): the party with businessman that just stares unnervingly but has ulterior motives - Don't Call Her 2 (B)(3): man and girlfriend have sex - Exhibition Shirling (all)(3): an exhibition of shirling (Shirling Guy)

Skits: - Poem by the Emperor of Japan 1... More (M)(3): the emporer recites a haiku - Gavin's Mother's Funeral (all)(3): Gavin attends his mother's funeral (Gavin, Father, New Mother, Murray) - Poem by the Emperor of Japan 2 (M)(3): another haiku - King of Empty Promises (KDM)(3): the "Will Do" guy borrows a videotape from Lex (Dean, Lex) - Bruce on How to Break Into Show Biz (B)(3): Bruce explains how to break into show business - Appendix Scar of Hate (MDK)(3): man has a disturbing appendix scar (Doctor) - Poem by the Emperor of Japan 3 (M)(3): another haiku - Scott Thompson's Perfect Man (all)(3): Scott describes his perfect man

Skits: - History of Boxing (KD)(3): innovation in the... More history of boxing - Pizza Shop Lechers (MKD)(3): pizza shop guys lust after schoolgirls - On the Subject of Me* (D)(3): on the subject of Dave - opera - Sid & Sharisse (BM)(3): Sid wonders if he is too small to love (Sid, Sharisse) - On the Subject of Me* (D)(3): on the subject of Dave - desert island - The Agents (SMDB)(3): the agents try to get an actor a gig (Sudelmans) - On the Subject of Me* (D)(3): on the subject of Dave - mustache - Bald Man's Horrible Secret (B)(3): bald wig salesman has a horrible secret

Skits: - Police Department (BM)(3): 9:33 p.m. Simcoe Park... More - other careers: opera singer and security guard (Police Department) - Chicken Kabob (all)(3): man chokes on a chicken kabob - Fake Ed McMahon (BDM)(3): man pretends to be Ed McMahon - Police Department (BM)(3): 6:17 p.m. Westfield Ave. - shift's over (Police Department) - Buddy's Bar -- AIDS (S)(3): Buddy talks about AIDS (Buddy) - Wimpy Tea Guy (KM)(3): Mr. Tisane orders some tea (Mr. Tisane) - Police Department (BM)(3): 8:11 p.m. Logan Road - asleep on the car (Police Department) - Tammy -- The Pickle (all+P)(3): Tammy meets the Queen at a pickle factory (Tammy, The Queen, Paul Bellini)

Skits: - Girls! Girls! Girls! (KM)(3): guy follows signs... More to find girls (Mr. Tyzik) - The Marriages (all)(3): a woman's repeated failed attempts at marriage - He's 45 1 (BD)(3): hip guy talks to his son (He's 45) - The Thrift Shop (SMK)(3): Raj and Christine discuss the strange day (Raj, Christine) - He's 45 2 (BDK)(3): hip guy and his family (He's 45) - Sexual Harassment of Himself (MKD)(3): trial of the man who acused himself of sexual harassment - He's 45 3 (BK)(3): hip guy's open relationship (He's 45) - Stay Down! (BMKS)(3): Sid who won't stay down when losing a fight (Sid, Sharisse, The Queen, Sid's Friend)

Skits: - It's a Fact (-)(3): you can get... More blood from a stone - Wanna See a Dead Body? (SDBK)(3): man brings his girlfriend to see a dead body in a field (White-Haired Criminal) - Scott's Double 1 (all+P)(3): Scott's double starts misbehaving (Paul Bellini) - Businessmen (BM)(3): Gerald and Gerald talk on the phone (Gerald, Gerald) - Minimum Wage (B)(3): guy complains about minimum wage - Scott's Double 2 (all+P)(3): Scott's double continued - Stereo Bargaining (BD)(3): man bargains in a stereo store (Murray) - It's a Fact (-)(3): uncle lost his job and acts weird - Naval Captain (KSD)(3): the stupid ship captain - It's a Fact (M)(3): the "It's a Fact" girl bargains for more money (Murray)