The Nature of Reviewing “Children’s” Films

I had always thought comedy was the hardest genre of film to review, due to the subjectivity of humour (my Three Stooges review being a prime example). However, I may need to revise that assertion, for reviewing family films can be a total pain in the rectum. With the end of the school holidays, I want to draw attention to this topic.

Typically, reviewing a film involves relaying your personal experience of the film by critically analysing the ways in which it provoked you (whether good or bad). Well-written, well-acted characters that come close to tragedy tend to elicit a harrowing sense of fear and sorrow (ala Toy Story 3). On the flip-side, a dull script and/or an emotionless lead can elicit an astonishing sense of boredom (The Horse Whisperer narrated by Keanu Reeves).

Film reviewing also requires you to be conscious of the film’s target audience, be aware of how it tries to appeal to its demographic and whether or not it does that successfully. It wouldn’t be fair to criticise The Vow for its lack of action or Transformers: Dark of the Moon for its inattentive commentary on modern political discourse. It’s important to realise how a particular film caters to its particular audience. It’s this area of critiquing that makes children’s films such a bitch to review.

It can be a really thankless job, for it seems like any attempt at criticising a family film is met by one of the following replies (usually by disgruntled parents):

“Well my kid liked it, so it’s a good children’s film”

“Children don’t care about story lines”

“You shouldn’t take children’s films so seriously”

“Children’s films should be reviewed by children”

The point of this blog post is to call bullshit on these arguments and propositions, and to establish that there is room for judging children’s films as a work of art as well as a platform for children’s entertainment.

Don’t get me wrong: there are plenty of professional critics out there who don’t give a solitary fuck on how decent Ice Age 4 is as a school-holiday film: if it isn’t emotionally stirring, they’ll hammer it.

The quality of a movie as a storytelling device can often fall back on its entertainment factor.  The Avengers is the greatest example of this, fading out its hefty number of story issues with an unstoppable sense of fun and excitement, winning over the majority of critics and movie-watchers.

However, entertainment for kids is vastly different from entertainment for the grown-ups. I know this, you know this, but here’s the key point:

Kids like stupid shit.

When I was young, I revelled in my stupidity. They were the only years where I was in true bliss (back when True Bliss dominated the airwaves with their one song… whatever it was… ). I had the stupidest of interests and went through the dumbest of fads, and I had the time of my life.

So when I say “Kids like stupid shit,” don’t think I’m saying that as a negative. On the contrary, I envy those little dumbasses. I wish I could borrow their ignorant eyes so I could watch The Pagemaster again and think “This is the greatest movie in the history of movies, ever!”

Just one more time…

Now I’m an adult-size flesh-sack of misery who cringes at anything that resembles an animated Macaulay Culkin. My sense of entertainment has been both shifted in taste and limited in its scope. So does this mean that I no longer know what could entertain kids?

As a whole, no I don’t, but it’s the exact same thing as knowing what entertains adults. I could make the assumption that every kid will like Madagascar with the same confidence that every adult will like The Dark Knight, even though that is clearly not the case.

Point is, kids have taste too.

I can remember being astonished at meeting fellow primary schoolers who didn’t care for Pokémon. I was simply under the impression that everyone of my age and generation came under the same brainwashing effect of that franchise, but clearly not. So, if you have a child, and they happened to like Happy Feet Two, does that instantly make Happy Feet Two a great children’s movie?

All it means is that it’s a great movie to entertain your child. In the case of Happy Feet Two, it still suffers from an overly convoluted storyline that suffocates itself with drab sub-plots and characters that are either dull or fail to play a significant role in the major arc.

“But hey, it looks pretty, and it has a few dumb jokes that made my kids laugh, so why the shit should reviewers criticise storylines in children’s films? It’s irrelevant.”

Such talk makes my ears bleed. We underestimate a child’s ability to be drawn to characters and empathise in their plights. It is the case that their powers of empathy are nowhere near as developed as ours, but to think they’re completely non-existent is to patronise them.

I would have trouble finding someone who could relay how Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame affected their childhood, but I bet the moment I mention The Lion King, they’ll instantly be taken back to the moment they witnessed Mufasa’s death.

 

Story lines matter. Characters matter. It’s what separates a great children’s film from a passably entertaining one, for the great ones have the ability to stay with you for the rest of your life (The Lion King, Toy Story, Toy Story 2, Toy Story 3, Pinocchio, Dumbo, The Iron Giant, Up, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Bambi, Aladdin, Finding Nemo, A Nightmere Before Christmas just to name a baker’s dozen).

The quality of the story lines and the characters present in these great children’s films are no different from the quality of those in great adult films, they simply cater to a different audience. It is through this understanding that good critics are able to make the judgement of what separates a great children’s film from a mediocre one.

So if you’re looking for a children’s film that will suitably entertain your child, don’t bother reading the press reviews. I’m sure they’ll have a fun time with Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked, despite how low it ranks on Rotten Tomatoes (my five-year-old self would have eaten that shit up). But if you’re looking to take your child to a great children’s films, then you can find some use in critical opinion.

That’s where I’ll leave it. I would love to comment on Pixar’s recent performance with Cars 2 and Brave (for it emphasises my points pretty clearly). Trigger a discussion on the comments board if your keen, or maybe I should save it for a separate post. Maybe when Monsters University comes out…

Or you can leave a message saying how full of shit I am. I’m flexible. And kind.

By the way, I found that song. It’s amazing.