Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole 2010

Lemony Snicket, The Vampire's Assistant, The Golden Compass. Hollywood has been searching for a franchise to replace a certain Mr Potter for a few years now and while all of the above were perfectly serviceable films, they didn't generate sufficient momentum at the box office to warrant further investment. With the most fully immersive 3D world since Avatar and an impressive vocal cast that boasts two Oscar winners, Guardians certainly looks and sounds the part.

But the fear generated by mixing cuddly animal leads and the director of 300 has come to pass. Although pitched as a family film, the story is more Dawn of the Dead than Happy Feet. Unrelentingly dark (it boasts a range of scary beasties to rival the Outback, while regurgitated mice are seen as comic relief), the plot mixes The Dark Crystal, Underworld: Rise of the Lycans and The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe with disappointingly predictable results.

While the tale tells us that war is hell, director Snyder seems to revel in the battle scenes, overcooking the slo-mo choral-cry combo. It also could be the first salvo in this summer's Ashes battle or the Republican debate – Ocker-sounding owls are kidnapped by Brit-toned baddies and one of them pointedly says to Helen Mirren's character, “You're not my queen”. Hide