The Expendables 2(2012)
Sylvester Stallone's action extravaganza redux with a platinum gold, muscle-clad cast (deep breath): Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Norris, Van Damme, Willis, Li, Statham, Hemsworth, Crews and Lundgren.... More
Mr. Church (Willis) reunites the Expendables to take on a seemingly simple job. The task looks like an easy paycheck for Barney (Stallone) and his crack team of heavies. But when things go wrong and one of their own is viciously killed, it becomes personal and the mercs-for-hire set off on a bullet-ridden, explosion-heavy quest for revenge.Hide
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BY Aaron Yap Flicks Writer
If The Expendables 2 is marginally better than its predecessor it’s only by virtue of having slightly more coherent action sequences (a wide shot of Jet Li fighting that lasts longer than 5 seconds!). It’s definitely not because this bone-headed, nostalgia-soaked indulgence for ‘80s action has-beens is actually any good at all.... More
As per #1, the film’s humour aims extremely low, full of prosaically wise-cracking dialogue and worst still, post-modern eye-winkery that lets its stars cringingly regurgitate classic action-movie quips (“Your ass is terminated!”, “Yippie-kai-yay!”). Slip in a few jokes about old age, and you have some seriously awful comedy to complement its smorgasbord of casually brutal, high-body count slaughter.
Okay, so the plot is as generic, sketchy, by-the-numbers as they come - fine - but it’s a shame that The Expendables 2 does a glaring disservice to the bulging ensemble by shoddily utilising them. Liam Hemsworth’s rookie hot-shot sniper is short-lived and the only character worth any emotional value, Van Damme’s baddie gets in a grand total of two flying kicks against Stallone, and Chuck Norris is reduced to the equivalent of a running gag from a Zucker Brothers spoof.
New Jet Li/Asian-component fill-in Nan Yu is a wooden and dull femme butt-kicker, while Willis and Schwarzenegger give career-worst performances. Everyone deserves better, but the sad thing is they’re obviously content with simply hi-fiving and bro-fisting each other to the bloody end. Give me Last Action Hero any day over this slop.Hide
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The Expendables 2
BY OscarSM superstar
BY non-plastic nobody
One of the best movies out for ages. Obviously not for the elite out there who gauge movies by the quality of the acting - if people line up and pay good money to see people acting in a movie - then they are actors - the other would be actors who do not have many people lining up to see are what we called amateur actors. I laugh at some of the try hard reviews made by those also rans - hey plastics - crawl back into ya cages and let the Gimp sort ya out!
BY Chaddorama grader
BY adamatdramatrain superstar
Stallone directed the first movie, but this... More time around he's hired Simon 'Con Air' West to call the shots, so the action is in the capable hands of a by-the-book Hollywood action-flick director, who recently remade the Charles Bronson movie 'The Mechanic' as a dull, but glossy, formulaic actioner, starring Jason Statham. Though solid, the direction offers nothing much to write about, although some of the plane scenes are so reminiscent of 'Con Air' that I found myself wondering if West wasn't using outtakes... Stallone's script on the other hand offers lots to write about. And none of it good. Suffice it to say that the plot's generic - good guys must save the day by beating, stabbing, shooting and blowing-up bad guys - and the jokes are woefully unfunny.
That said though, this is a film that knows what it is. All the jokes are about the cast. For example, for film nerds like me, it raises a chuckle of recognition when Stallone says of Dolph Lundgren's character, Gunner, that he's "A maniac with brains." Why the knowing smile? Only because I'm geek enough to know that Lundgren is a graduate in chemistry from Washington State University, chemical engineering from Stockholm's Royal Institute of Technology and the University of Sydney. When Gunner meets Chuck Norris and says "They call you The Wolf?" Chuck replies "I've been called that." He certainly has - most famously (in film geekland) as 'Lone Wolf McQuade' way back in 1983. The knowing winks and in-jokes swamp the dialogue, from someone threatening to "terminate" Schwarzenegger (geddit?!) who says "I'll be back" so often, that Willis turns to him at one point and says "No, this time I'll be back." You've been back enough." Heck even Jean Claude Van Damme's lead villain is called "Jean Vilain" - so if that type of brilliant word play is above your comprehension, you might not enjoy this movie as much as the testosterone and steroid-fuelled cast. Everybody's clearly having a ball, and there's a palpable sense of "giving the fans what they want" that culminates in Messrs Stallone, Schwarzenegger and Willis striding through an airport lounge with machine guns a-blazing.
Like I said: it is what it is - big, dumb and full of old-school macho fun. The best scene is one in which the seventy-two year-old Norris tells a Chuck Norris gag that's almost as old as he is. Other than that? Things go boom. People die in boys-own fantasy slo-mo. Blood spurts in video-game style fountains. Guns blaze with comic-book abandon. Knives get thrown. Grenades and painfully wrought one-liners are tossed, and two-hours tick by. As the credits roll, it's hard to remember what on earth you've just watched. But then, to be fair, it is called 'Expendables 2' and not Fellini's 'Satyricon'...
So, if you're so old that you were a young teen in the Eighties that loved the stars in their prime, there's fun to be had here a and if you're a young teen right now who's into this kinda shite? Roll on in - 'Expendables 2' was made just for you.
Two (throwing) stars - one for the "Chuck" and the other for the "Norris" :)Hide
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