As a massive fan of Halloween as both the event of the year and a horror franchise, I thought I would take the liberty of revisiting one of the most important horror franchises in the game, and breaking down some potential costume ideas. Warning: these may rock the core of the Halloween costume community forever. Let’s start with the obvious.
1. Michael Myers
The slow-moving unstoppable serial killer and undeniable star of the show.
Costume: Wear a boiler suit and a white Shatner mask that progressively gets more melted/fat/distorted as the night progresses and the directors around you lose sight of their original vision for your character. Bring a bag of different coloured wigs to rotate each hour to keep things nice and inconsistent.
Behaviour: As the party begins, spend 2-3 hours slowly circling the suburban streets. When it feels right, walk directly through the party and go straight outside. Stand very still for the rest of the night amongst the washing. It will be powerful, even if nobody actually sees you.
Extra for Experts: Add blood tears as seen in Halloween II, ignore anyone who asks you why your eyes would still be intact if you have just been shot in the head.
2. Child version of Michael Myers
Often revisited in flashbacks, this guy knew his way around a knife drawer from day dot.
Costume: Take your pick from his various incarnations. The earlier the version the better, because if you leave it till the Rob Zombie version you’ll have to stand for an hour and a half next to the guacamole wah-ing about your problems to a psychologist/comatose drunk guy.
Behaviour: Walk around the house dressed as a clown trying to find people pashing. Child Michael Myers mostly murdered teens for pashing, but you don’t need to go that far. A nice festive dunce cap and a stern frown should get the message across.
Extra for Experts: Be the weird kid-Michael from Halloween 2 because the hair and face could also double as Mick Jagger and then you can play ‘Moves Like Jagger’ at the party and I think that’s how you get people to like you.
3. That other Michael Myers
The atrocious Rob Zombie reboot of Michael Myers.
Costume: Half-heartedly throw a wet piece of tissue paper at your face and hope it sticks because you have given up on life.
Behaviour: Stumble around the party ruining everybody’s fun because you never needed to exist in the first place and quite frankly are a modern-day embarrassment.
Extra for Experts: Go home from the party early and watch TV2 at 1am in the morning where you and your dumb films belong you freak.
4. Laurie Strode
Michael Myers’ sister who doesn’t really get along too well with her brother.
Costume: Start night off a young nerdy babe with woollen stockings and lots and lots of haphazard chemistry books because you are bookish but not bookish enough to figure out that you might need a bigger bag. As the night progresses, slowly morph into the adult Laurie Strode through cutting hair short and carrying empty vodka bottle around.
Behaviour: Be sure to stare at all the reflective surfaces at the party until something jumps up and give you a fright. Stick at it. Even if it takes all goddamn night.
Extra for Experts: Emulate Jamie-Lee Curtis’s career decisions by eating a tub of Symbio in the middle of the party whilst talking about digestive problems. Also attempt to “Freaky Friday” costumes with anyone that makes eye contact with you.
5. Sam Loomis
Michael Myer’s psychiatrist and archenemy who capitalises on the serial killer’s notoriety through a series of lucrative book deals.
Costume: Dress in a brown suit with long camel trench coat. Ensure that collar stays severely popped for entire evening. Have quite a dusty face.
Behaviour: If you ever talk to anyone lean in real close and say serious things like “this is no human” or ”evil walks the earth”. Be sure to turn up to the party as all the last minute action is happening and shoot at everything 37 times. Go around the party performing psychiatric assessments on your peers based solely on how black their eyes are.
Extra for Experts: Whip off your dusty boring old man prosthetics to reveal the chiselled jaw of your original namesake, Sam Loomis from Psycho. Find someone at the party dressed as Janet Leigh (see below) and tell your grand-children about the greatest meet-cute of all time.
6. A supporting female character
Any one will do, as long as they’re expendable.
Costume: Messy hair, a large man’s shirt and no pants. Must have cigarette in one hand and a telephone in the other at all times.
Behaviour: Must have just made out with a local hunk named Troy or Trent. Walk around in the party in your large man’s shirt whilst on telephone but always stand next to an open window. For the love of god, don’t look out there, you don’t want to know who you are talking to.
Extra for Experts: Bring with you a paper-mache small child you were supposed to be babysitting. Ideally would be one of those ones you see in small rural towns wearing a backwards cap that look like they are leaning on the wall. Lock the kid in a room in front of the television because you are a reckless teen who isn’t afraid to party with Toby/Tucker/Trevor.
7. Witch or Warlock
Embrace the completely inexplicable mess that was Halloween III: Season of the Witch and turn up to the party with a whole group of random warlock businessmen made of wires.
Costume: Slick your hair back, wear a swanky suit but fall over often and make baby food and plastic snakes come out of your nose and mouth as soon as lots of people arrive.
Behaviour: Spend the majority of the party building Stonehenge out of pizza boxes. Climb up to the rafters above the party and throw coins down on everyone. Never explain any of your actions; certainly don’t explain what you have to do with the Halloween franchise. People will stop asking questions and forget that you ever existed.
Extra for Experts: Find the iPod jack and replace the party tunes with this great synth-y take on the Halloween theme.
Embrace the trend of the 2000s Halloween masterpieces such as H20 and Resurrection by dressing up as your favourite rapper/dancer/singer/actor/model.
Costume: Ideas include Tyra Banks, Busta Rhymes and LL Cool J.
Behaviour: Slip out of character all night and be sure to make direct eye contact with all cameras. If you take the role of LL however, congratulations – you are the best character and actor in the entire Halloween franchise. You should probably do a yardie or something to celebrate.
Extra for Experts: For a more self-referential costume, dress up as Janet Leigh (star of Psycho and real-life mother of Jamie-Lee Curtis) who made a cameo in Halloween H20. Find your Loomis. Live happily ever after.
9. Cool Late-90s Heartthrob Teen Character
Costume: Embrace the plethora of ’90s eye candy in Halloween H20 by dressing up as either Michelle Williams (pretty much unrecognisable), Joseph Gordon-Levitt (weirdly jaundiced and very young) or Josh Harnett (definitely in his prime).
Extra for Experts: Go around the party asking people if they think the name Halloween H20 is confusing given its association with the chemical symbol for water. If somebody gives you an answer without pantsing you or throwing a drink in your face, please tweet me their theory.
10. A Point of View Shot
The final and most conceptual idea by far.
Costume: Draw two eyes onto a t-shirt or wear large pair of dark sunglasses over a nude morph-suit. You have now become P.O.V man/woman.
Behaviour: Slowly glide around behind party guests and be sure to breathe very very heavily.
Extra for Experts: Recreate Halloween Resurrection’s undervalued commentary on surveillance and reality television. Tape a go-pro to your head and link it to a live feed on some projector as you slowly walk behind everyone at the party. I imagine people will applaud you for this but I could be wrong.
There are many more options from the franchise that I left out such as Off Duty Nurse, Affable Gas Station Attendant, Masked Child Bully and Naked Girl Smoking Cigarette. Let me know if I left anything out; maybe can cover those next year. Hey, happy Halloween everybody!