BY Flicks Writer
Scott has clearly been given exactly two pieces of direction for the entirety of Perfect Creature: “look dour” and “now tilt your head”. Whenever nothing’s happening (this is often), it’s Scott’s job to act morose, make sure nobody’s having any fun.
What a trial! Trying to get through a scene, remembering the time you stopped a bullet for John Malkovich, your days filled with almost-actors snarling in your face thinking they had pathos! The poor fellow doesn’t even get any scenes with the delightful man from the Ferritt ad…
Oh, but wait - maybe this is the scene where Dougray gets to fire the magic vampire-killing bullet-time gun! Wait, Dougray, before you do anything rash, let’s have that head-tilt that’s the only piece of character you’ve been given and thus have used in every single reaction shot in the movie.
Whether it’s the requisite scientific mumbo-jumbo or the requisite religious-metaphor schtick, good ol’ Dougray’s there, being dour. And on the frequent occasion that Perfect Creature gives the plot a rest and focuses on the unique visual universe it’s cobbled together from all the movies with the exact same story – you can bet he’s out there somewhere, not smiling, and tilting his head.
At the end of the movie – well, I say “end”, but being as nothing much has happened, all we really get is a cessation of the dullness and some credits – Dougray stands, looking dour, and solemnly intones that his character would like a sequel.
And somewhere, in a parallel universe, everyone’s seen this movie, so they don’t care whether the next installation is called Perfect Creature 2 or Underworld 3 or Blade 4. Everyone except Dougray’s chiropractor. He’s just bought a boat.
Reviewed by Tom Goulter.
The Peoples' Reviews
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Well this movie wrecked vampire movies for so well done. It was TWO HOURS OF SOME ANNOYING VAMPIRE TILTING HIS HEAD!!.
For those who have the underworld movies did any of 'Perfect creature' ring any bells ? they could re-worded underworld evolution with the whole 'My brother is out of control' Act .
Tisk tisk , never watching another vampire movie as long as i shall exist
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