Check out those beautiful, enticing and attractive faces above. Can you help but be drawn to this month’s direct to home video releases? I bet you bloody well can’t. Read on to see what cinemas wouldn’t touch with a bargepole – but you would be insane to miss out on seeing.
Crawl
In a Nutshell: Aussie rural thriller sees a young woman held hostage in her home by a violent stranger. Axes, knives, guns and cars threaten to escalate the body count. What more could there possibly be to know?
The Buzz: 71% on Rotten Tomatoes from 7 critics. Alan Jones from FrightFest boldly proclaims “Not since the Coen brothers’ Blood Simple has there been a more exciting thriller debut,” while Total Film gives symmetrically contrary praise, saying “The result is gory and stark, but no Blood Simple.” Also, “a squeaky door steals the show” according to The Guardian.
Reason to Watch: After You’re Next we’re keen to see if another Aussie lass has what it takes to kill off her attacker.
Released: Dec 4th.
Charles Bradley: Soul of America
In a Nutshell: At one point homeless and constantly poverty-stricken, the remarkable journey of soul singer Charles Bradley is the focus of this doco. Abandoned as a child and beset by family tragedy, Bradley’s voice never deserted him and he eventually graduated from James Brown cover singer to a critically-acclaimed recording artist in his own right.
The Buzz: 100% on Rotten Tomatoes from… erm… 3 critics. But of those three impressed critics, Hollywood Reporter sums it up the best, saying the film “offers a vivid working-class backdrop and a voice expressive enough to wow the most demanding Soul music fans.”
Reason to Watch: Not just an inspirational tale, but a taste of what to expect ahead of Bradley’s show at the NZ Festival in Wellington next year.
Released: Dec 5th.
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John Dies at the End
In a Nutshell: Wow, how do you sum this up… The director of Bubba Ho-Tep and Phantasm adapts a novel about a drug with trans-dimensional properties, indulged in by a pair of college dropouts who already have a bit too much experience with weird shit. And there’s some zombies. And a meat monster. And even more weird shit. That’s how you sum this up!
The Buzz: 61% on Rotten Tomatoes from 80 reviews. Most acknowledge it’s uneven, but plenty dig it. The New York Times reckon “it zigs, zags and trips over its own feet and on its own home-brewed hallucinogens. It’s a ridiculous, preposterous, sometimes maddening experience, but also kind of a blast”. Variety call it “a thoroughly unpredictable horror-comedy — and an immensely entertaining one, too” and The Washington Post had to admit “I stopped taking notes when the woman disintegrated into a ball of writhing snakes.”
Reason to Watch: Come on, the title alone is frickin’ genius.
Released: Dec 5th.
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Sleepwalk With Me
In a Nutshell: Self-referential, self-loathing comedians are nothing new, the latest incarnations being folks like Louis C.K. and Marc Maron. But have they made quasi-autobiographical films about themselves, like Mike Birbiglia? Nope. Playing a struggling stand-up called “Matt”, Birbiglia channels his career and commitment phobias into the film – and also as the title suggests, his spurts of severe sleepwalking.
The Buzz: 84% on Rotten Tomatoes from 107 critics. Variety calls it “an endearing indie feature about the day-to-day indecisions and nocturnal perambulations of a commitment-phobic New Yorker,” while the great Roger Ebert had this to say of Mike Birbiglia: “Whether he has a future in stand-up I cannot say, but he has a future as a monologist and actor.” Film.com perhaps gives the greatest compliment, stating that the comedy “would make both Larry David and Louis C.K. proud.”
Reason to Watch: Ira Glass, host of This American Life produces. And Birbiglia’s a funny dude.
Released: Dec 5th.
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Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie
In a Nutshell: Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim end up in the hole to the sinister Schlaaang Corporation, headed by Robert Loggia, when they blow a billion dollars on a feature film. With their lives on the line there’s only one thing to do – take over the management of a rundown shopping mall, populated by freaks and weirdos. Yep, basically a bunch of famous and not-so-famous regulars from Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job – including uncredited appearances from Zach Galifianakis, Will Ferrell, Will Forte and John C. Reilly.
The Buzz: 38% on Rotten Tomatoes from 68 critics. Film.com says “isn’t for everyone, but for the few, the brave, it’s extremely strange and hilarious,” while Boston Globe suggests “see it in the right sick frame of mind, and Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie can be shockingly and terribly hilarious. Or not.” New York Post wasn’t as understanding, saying “it would be insulting to refer to Tim & Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie as amateurish – insulting to amateurs everywhere.”
Reason to Watch: You think you’ve seen it all? You haven’t. Especially Dr. Doone Struts’ Shrim Healing Centre.
Released: Dec 5th.
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Touchy Feely
In a Nutshell: Writer/director Lynn Shelton follows up the excellent Your Sister’s Sister with this dramedy again starring (the totally crush-worthy, we reckon) Rosemarie DeWitt as a massage therapist who one day finds she can’t handle touching anyone any more. Her dentist brother (Josh Pais), on the other hand, seems to have developed healing abilities. Chuck a newly untouchable boyfriend (Scoot McNairy) and an emotionally stunted daughter (Ellen Page) into the mix and all sorts of relationships are ready to boil over.
The Buzz: 35% on Rotten Tomatoes from 43 critics. “The actors are all first-rate and the performances are fascinating,” states Globe and Mail, with Entertainment Weekly adding that “Touchy Feely is minor, but these people are good company.”
Reason to Watch: As a Flicks staff member remarked “it’s like someone made a movie about reiki”. Plus, Your Sister’s Sister ruled.
Released: Dec 5th.
The Lords of Salem
In a Nutshell: You’ve gotta admire the balls on that Rob Zombie fella, right? From rebooting the Halloween series and basically turning Michael Myers into himself – beard and all – to casting his wife in every single one of his films he just does what he damn well wants. With The Lords of Salem that means Sheri Moon Zombie plays a dreaded (hair, not reputation) DJ who receives a mysterious record by the Lords of Salem, plays it – and then ancient witches turn up to fuck shit up.
The Buzz: 47% on Rotten Tomatoes from 57 critics. “Although it eventually descends into silliness [don’t all his films, we ask at Flicks], this creepily atmospheric effort delivers some effective scares along the way,” suggests The Hollywood Reporter while New York Observer proclaims it’s “so bad it’s hilarious.”
Reason to Watch: This has the makings of an enjoyable midnight movie on the couch with the lights off and door locked (checked three or four times to make sure).
Released: Dec 11th.
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V/H/S/2
In a Nutshell: Some more people find some more tapes and watch the grisly found footage. Some of us didn’t dig its predecessor, but V/H/S/2 lets Adam Wingard (You’re Next) Eduardo Sánchez and Gregg Hale (The Blair Witch Project), Timo Tjahjanto and Gareth Evans (The Raid) and Jason Eisener (Hobo with a Shotgun) loose on the concept with grisly ghostly, zombie, culty and alien results.
The Buzz: 72% on Rotten Tomatoes from 58 critics. Variety gives hope to those who weren’t as taken by the first V/H/S, “Less turns out to be much more for V/H/S/2, a sequel to last year’s uneven indie horror omnibus V/H/S; this one is shorter and has fewer segments, but also earns a much higher batting average.” Washington post adds “after a lackluster start, V/H/S/2 shifts into a higher gear — and vastly improves over its 2012 predecessor.”
Reason to Watch: Much better use of the found footage gimmick all round – plus Tjahjanto and Evans’ segment freaking rules.
Released: Dec 11th.
The Stone Roses: Made of Stone
In a Nutshell: Shane Meadows (This Is England) directs this doco on one of the modern era’s most unlikely musical reunions, following The Stone Roses back on stage after a 16 year break, during which the chances of them ever playing again seemed slim to none. Meadows fuses archival material with footage of the band rehearsing for their comeback shows, their first since fizzling out with a whimper, infamously marked by disastrous festival performances in 1996.
The Buzz: 73% on Rotten Tomatoes from 26 critics. New York Times says it all… “by the time the long, throbbing concert finale begins, there is no doubt that Mr. Brown’s intensity has not faded over the years and that The Stone Roses’ breakup was a serious loss.”
Reason to Watch: Dude, it’s The Stone Roses. Come on.
Released: Dec 12th.
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Man of Tai Chi
In a Nutshell: Keanu Reeves made a movie – can you guess from the title what it is about? Inspired by a stuntman buddy of Reeves, Man of Tai Chi follows a talented Tai Chi student as he gets involved in an underground fighting ring. Reeves cast himself as the big bad behind it all – which is pretty cool since he seldom plays a villain – while his mate Tiger Chen stars in the lead role and beats a bunch of dudes up (we are guessing).
The Buzz: 71% on Rotten Tomatoes from 59 critics. “Reeves’s debut shows signs of a talented filmmaker,” states the Boston Globe, with Variety adding “this China-U.S. co-production is the real deal for hardcore chopsocky fans.”
Reason to Watch: There aren’t as many tournament fighting films as there used to be, and none made by Keanu.
Released: Dec 18th.
The To Do List
In a Nutshell: A high school overachiever, played by Aubrey Plaza, sets out to expand her sexual experiences from none to “not a virgin any more” in this 1993-set comedy with a solid supporting cast including Bill Hader (husband of writer-director Maggie Carey), Arrested Development‘s Alia Shawkat, Rachel Bilson, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Clark Gregg, Andy Samberg and Connie Britton and Scott Porter from TV’s Friday Night Lights.
The Buzz: 52% on Rotten Tomatoes from 104 critics. New York Times suggests “this movie is smarter and better acted and just plain funnier than most of its predecessors in the my-first-time genre, no matter which sex is losing what,” while the Miami Herald spots that the film “is cheerfully unconcerned with realism; the cast is so obviously over high school age it almost becomes part of the joke.” Boston Globe takes the praise further, saying “in its exuberantly smutty way, The To Do List is revolutionary: A teen sex comedy where the girls get to play nasty and the boys stand around looking terrified.”
Reason to Watch: This 90s-set sex comedy plays like an almost entirely non-ironic 80s sex comedy, and who doesn’t like those?
Released: Dec 27th.
Reissue of the month
Akira – 25th anniversary edition
In a Nutshell: The Japanese animated sci-fi classic that fueled many Westerners’ taste for anime returns, with the Neo-Tokyo of 2019 looking better than ever on this combo Blu-ray/DVD edition. High school dropouts Kaneda and Tetsuo spend most of their time racing awesome motorcycles around the post World War III rebuilding of their city, until they stumble upon a secret experiment aiming to weaponise humans by developing telekinetic abilities. And then all manner of bizarre hell breaks loose… Watch the English dub or subtitled versions – either way, you need to see this if you never have before, or like us, will be prompted to revisit an old fave.
The Buzz: 87% on Rotten Tomatoes from 45 critics. Time Out describes Akira as “an impressive achievement, often suggesting a weird expressionist blend of 2001, The Warriors, Blade Runner and Forbidden Planet“. The Village Voice reckon it’s “easily the most breathtaking and kinetic anime ever made” and the curmudgeons at the Los Angeles Times actually sell the merits of the film while trying to criticise it: “A compendium of the worst cliches of Japanese animation — two hours of chases, laser attacks, machine-gun battles, spilled stage blood, computer-animated backgrounds and hokey dialogue”.
Reason to Watch: How to put this… Akira f-cking rules!
Released: Dec 27th.
